From the beginning of time, man has looked at the heavens and firmly believed that the end of the universe ends out in space. It's not true. The end of the universe happens to be in the United States. I have seen it. And, oddly enough, it's in Houston, Texas...I know, I was shocked too... I left the comedy club there and walked down the street. On one corner, there was a Starbucks. And across the street from that Starbucks, in the exact same building as that Starbucks, was a Starbucks. At first I thought the sun was playing tricks on my eyes. But, no. There was a Starbucks across from a Starbucks. And that, my friends, is the end of the universe. People have said to me, 'how do you know?' And I say, 'go there. Stand between those two Starbucks and look at your watch. Time stands still.' And if you turn this way, and look at just this Starbucks, immediately you think, 'You know, There cannot possibly be a Starbucks behind me. Nobody would have been that stupid, to have built a Starbucks across from a Starbucks. And if there was a just and loving God, he wouldn't allow that kind of **** to go down.' So you turn slowly, thinking, 'well, I'll see a Gap, or a Denny's, maybe even a Mobil Station... BUT THERE'S A STARBUCKS!' - The End of the Universe, Lewis Black

Funny shit. Only because it's true. Then I guess that makes it not funny.

2 hours at the Grand playing $6/12 puts me up another $250 so it's $600 in a little over 24 hours. Told myself I would quit after I came up a rack and I looked down and it was time to leave. KK actually holds on a raised pot and QJ9 flop. QQ and JJ win some small pots. Make a bike on 4th on the button with a 24s and take a big one from A5. Call another raised pot w/84s on the button and flop 2 pair, filling up on the river over a turned straight. This lady sitting next to me was nice and all I guess but just gave off the image of desperation. So glad I can avoid that hole nowadays (for the most part). People watch it on TV and think that it's that easy I suppose. How do you buy into a $6/12 game with under $100?!? Even a re-buy for $60-WTF are you gonna do with that? That's 5 big bets. Gotta get a little sleep, it's a school night, class @ 10AM! Softball team won too. Yeah, even without me. Ha.

Chuck Norris is legend, but I'll still take Jack Bauer as my go-to guy.